if it’s not yours…

Have you ever hankered after something that you can’t have?

When I was young with chronic bronchitis, I used to hanker after ice cream so much. Of course, my mother would have none of it. Her word was law. Did I say “was”? Oops… “is”, I mean.  Don’t get me wrong. I was no pale lily. Bronchitis or not, I would be out there playing with the neighbourhood boys. Climbing in and out of drains. Playing catching. Eating sand. Matching them silly action after action! Hmmm… who’s the dumb one, now?

No “masak-masak” (Malay term for “playing house”) until the bouts were upon me. Cough till the face turned green. Lungs popping out of the mouth. Well, if it could get pass the oesophagus. Phlegm no better colour. Fever from infection. Trip to the family doctor ad nauseam. Literally for me! Well, for mum too.

So I don’t blame her with the endless cycle of robust activity interspersed with vomitting yellow phelgm. Ok… too much info. So yearn as much as I could and would … no ice cream materialised (so much for the “laws of attraction” ) The rule was bent only once a year. Chinese New Year was the celebration of celebrations. Even then, no Ben and Jerry’s or Haagen Dazs. Just the Ah Pek (“old uncle” in Hokkien) on his three-wheeled motorised cart, clanging the ice cream bell. Such music to my ears. It heralded the oh so cold, cold Magnolia ripple – yup no favourite chocolate flavour – too heaty. No matter, it’s ice cream sandwiched between two pieces of crispy biscuit!. Mmmmmmm…. heaven.

Those were the growing up years.

I was just thinking recently. What do we do now when we want something we shouldn’t have. It’s not ice cream for me these days (could be for you! ). I turned down an ice cream treat as I was coughing. Abstinence from ice cream is a piece of cake these days.

But what about something bad for the health, your career, your finances, your well-being, your life? Do we have the discipline to refrain?

In this age of getting what you see. Getting what you want. Getting immediate gratification. What do we do?

No more mum to hold the “gun to your head”. Figuratively speaking, of course. (No case of child abuse here…moving on).

I know some people who make a “life” in their minds (literally!) of whatever it is they hanker after. And sometimes, they live more in that made-up world than the reality. Is it a measure of weakness? Is it the inability to face reality? Is it the only safe route?

Or people who will stop at nothing till they get what they want. God forbid if you get in their way.

My grandma used to say, “what’s not yours, is not yours”. No amount of wishing, or dreaming, or fantasising will bring it to you. (As an aside… sometimes brute will and force does get you there). Whatever it is, I guess the question is, will it be worth it?

Don’t know about you but I think I’ll stick to grandma’s wise old adage. Don’t hanker after things you can’t or don’t have. Just enjoy and treasure what you already have. And sometimes… ice cream does come your way, once a year!

this plank is in my “brother’s” eye :p …

Why is it that we do not see the fault in ourselves? We are so quick to jump to conclusions and accuse someone of a wrongdoing but can’t seem to see ours. Remember the plank in your eye versus the speck in your brother’s?

In this world, the opposite seems to apply. I read somewhere that pyschologically, we expect other people to do what we would do, so we do it to them first!

The more insecure and critical the person, the more accusations are hurled. The more the blame game. All these have a root in the “sub-conscious” mirror. Except that folks who act on these negative thoughts do not reflect on their own actions. What really gets my goad is they hold up a mirror to others and do not hold it up to themselves!  They think they have every right to act the way they do. Even if it borders on bullying.

True story. I had exit East Coast Parkway Expressway at Marine Parade and began to slow down at the slip road towards Marine Parade Road. A van (like a Kangoo van) coming from the East Coast service road into the Marine Parade slip road, (read minor road), approached the junction. He hesitated when he saw me and stopped at the junction so I picked up speed. As I was approaching the junction, something possessed him to come out!! at snail’s pace! I literally had to jam my break to stop just a hair’s breath from his van. I’m not sure if he knew what I had to do to avoid a collision. Then I had to follow behind him as we were on a one-lane carriageway. At the point the slip road split into two lanes, the driver of the van took the right lane and I sped up to slightly over 50km/h (imagine how slowly he was going) on the same lane, as the road ahead was clear! Anyway, I thought all was well. Little did I know the saga had not ended.

The other driver had tried to speed up to me in the next lane and caught up with me because I had stopped at the traffic junction. I ignored him. But do you know what he did? He honked at me long and hard over and over and over. When I finally turned (my mistake) to look, he gesticulated angrily. What the…, right?

He dawdled out of a minor road and caused me to slow down when I had the right of way. I had to jam break hard to avoid a collision. Ironically, it would have been my fault if I had hit him! He travelled at snail’s speed on the one-lane road so I had to crawl behind him. He moved to the right lane so I sped up as the road ahead was clear. Then he honked and gesticulated at me!

I mouthed the words, “You cut into my lane!!” and then stopped, as I didn’t think him worth my energy and also partly because the light had turned green. I decided to drive off to avoid further antagonism from a big (think buff) man. But who showed himself to be very, very, very small-minded. (Anything else, small, I’m thinking of, will remain in my thought bubble)!

Ok I held the mirror up to myself and still concluded but “What the…!?”? The plank was in his eye. This time I had the speck. Right?

There are plenty more in the “archive” where this came from. Do you have these type of “tor huik” stories? (“Tor huik”, Hokkien – chinese dialect – for “vomit blood!”). Spill!

nostalgic track along Bukit Timah Rail … still on my 3GS ;)

The last train chugged out of the Tanjong Pagar Railway station on 30th June 2011. I hope we preserve some of the vestiges of solid engineering handed down by the British and the immigrant hands that cobbled them into being. There are things we shouldn’t forget. The Bukit Timah Railway portion of the track hopefully will remain intact for generations to come. I was glad my nephew asked to go to the rail tracks on his 20th birthday in July. So he can create his own memories.

I just love the wrought iron structure… it’s pretty for something so imposing.

Down memory lane…

A nostalgic track…

      what a bolt! don’t make ‘em like they used to.

Is everything always black and white?    Hopefully, it doesn’t become one great big black and white or sepia snapshot for the annals.  Hopefully, promises are iron-clad and a green belt co-exists with these splended structures. And not another faceless condominium clubhouse or worse, struck off the map to become a distant memory.

  

Go green corridor!

can you see the dragonfly?..

  

where the sky ends and the water begins ….

where the sky ends and the water begins...

What I saw when I shot this? Well, rather what I thought when the picture was taken.

Where the sky ended and the water in the pond begins? Was the fish in the pond or in the sky? Is what you see really what it is? Was this fish the only one in its watery world? Or in a place in the sky?

Was this fish pondering the same question? Or perhaps it was just struggling to survive.

What you see of the lone fish is only half the picture. The other half is all the giant koi rushing towards the vibrations of human feet from where they think they will get their next feed.

cornered....

Pushed to a corner for their survival. Were they the real survivors?

Like life.

Where life starts and ends is blurred. What’s left is the survival. And who survives.

     

Look who’s waiting by the sidelines. Can’t see? Look again. Making a move now…

one splash and what's left is the spectre of the giant koi

What a splash! What a manoeuvre…

Like life. There are those who wait patiently by the sidelines. Then in one fell [swoosh] they make a move leaving others in their wakes, their watery trail of dust.

it's not always beauty who gets there first...

So who survives? Don’t discount the beast (we won’t go into “define beauty” at this point) alongside with the beauty … at the end.

Where does the water in the pond end and the sky begin? Is it a watery world or a place in the sky?

You tell me.

PS: Pictures taken with iPhone 3GS at Changi General Hospital Koi pond where my niece was hospitalised for colitis this past Lunar New Year. We had wheeled her from her ward for some fresh air.

Such “inspired” thoughts from her aunt.

haiku, on dawn

dawn

It is a new Dawn
that’s lurking behind the clouds
with promise of hope.

Calls unsuspecting
households, readying in the
light of Dawn’s promise.

It is a darkened
soul that returns. Unprepared.
Dawn’s promises dashed.

my paltry attempt at haiku… and a rather grainy picture from my 3GS. it ain’t 8 megapixel. i just want my curved back. that’s a story for another day. i wanted to record my thoughts, captured on the spur of a moment, in a rare dawn awakening.

more on Autumn in Japan…Nagoya – its Castle, “my” castle etc… …

My friends are great supporters of the blog. They just have a strange way of showing it. They will visit and read the blog but not leave a comment. Instead they call, text or e-mail me to say how they enjoyed reading the blog.  Or that the pictures were great. etc..etc.. etc.. All of which are also appreciated.

The reason why I’ve taken on this onerous task of whittling down over 400 pictures and videos into what you have seen, will see in this and the next two blogs is because I said I would when I started with Shirakawa-go. Also, sucker that I am , one of my friends promised that she’d leave a comment once I’d completed uploading my Autumn in Japan holiday photos. She loves the pictures but would wait to drop her pearl of wisdom once she’s seen the photos through to Hakone and back. So here goes.

Nagoya, here we come. Before we get to the Nagoya Castle, this is “my” castle. Well, my friend’s technically but it’s where I laid me down to sleep, so it’s mine for that moment in time.

Love tatami beds. This was warm and toasty. And tasteful in calming off-whites.

 My room has a view…

“All the leaves are brown”… you know the song? Autumn colours are really beautiful.

Now to Nagoya Castle. Peeking through the trees, looking all serene. It’s difficult to think that it was constructed to ward off attacks. Tokugawa an important samurai, ordered construction of the castle in 1612, to secure an important position on the Tokaido Highway.

The castle was ravaged by fire during World War II.  In 1959, the main donjon, the small donjon, the abutment bridge between the two and the main gate were reconstructed. There are seven floors in the main donjon.  The dolphins at the top of the castle roof are majestic symbols of the feudal lord’s authority.  

Majestic “eaves” (I’m sure there is a more royal term ).

 Going into the inside track now through the main gate. An imposing structure…Oh well, this picture is a part of the imposing structure. This gate was originally called the Nishinomaru-enokida Gate. It was destroyed by fire during the Second Word War. The gate was reconstructed together with the donjon in 1959.

Don’t expect the interior to be like those you see in England and Europe, preserved as witness to the lives of the royals and nobles, with rooms, furniture and paintings etc maintained pretty much how it was inhabited. The interior of Nagoya Castle is styled as an exhibition.

But I love this stairwell. For Singaporeans who know and love how the Shaw House carpark was constructed, this, in terms of its concept is something like that. I still can’t get my head wrapped around how that carpark was built, except some kind of interspersed kueh lapis (Malay layered cake). Just like that, this appears to be one stairwell but there is an “up” and down” stairwell that delivers you to a totally different floor of the exhibition when you exit into the rooms. That’s how my friend and I missed a showtime as we’d “lost” each other. We walked up and/or down the stairwell and missed each other.  Unless, I’m wrong and there were two stairwells… hmmm… But Shaw House carpark is as said.

Helmets, armour, swords

        

Not forgetting the shogun. I have an impression of fierce and loyal warriors. Looks scary even in an exhibit. The shadow even. Wouldn’t be caught dead by one.

 Er… papier mache…. I forget. I’m sure this was something important. Moving on… This is the Study Room.

a salvaged door from the Old Castle

    re-enactment of Castle town.

Romanticising the moat surrounding the castle.  One would think that it’s a throwback to times past…  Wait a minute… it’s coming…

There we are … the undeniable signs of progress. 

Back to reality… And it ain’t shabby at all.

 My friend’s favourite “chillax” place. It’s called Nishiya Coffee and is five minute’s drive from her apartment. They serve the best red bean toast with condensed milk. Don’t turn up your nose yet. I did, but got sucked into it at first bite.

 This is the mass market one. In Singapore, the Yakun equivalent. Can’t turn up your nose at it. But I’ll take the indie shops anytime.

The next few pics are my fave shops in Nagoya. They’re all along the Nagoya “Holland Village” equivalent. I think you need a local to find it. It’s not on your mainstream shopping streets.

  This is Cottony. They were all decked out for Christmas.

Wave everyone.

Literally. This is Wave… my most favourite shop of all… My nieces’ pressies came from here. For the first time, “Made in Japan” stuff. Yay! The items stocked range from clothes, bags, accessories, kitchen ware etc..And they were just one of a kind. I would have bought the store if budget weren’t a constraint. I have other photos of the colourful, cheerful, homey, “Christmasy” store. Unfortunately, I was in them and that kinda spoilt the picture. This is the gardening section… to anchor my favourite shop. I don’t know why it’s my favourite. I guess it was almost magical. For me. Thanks pal!

I had my first non Japanese food here, into the 10th or 11th day of my visit. Not that I would have minded Japanese food for all meals. But this was a great cafe to have broken the chain on. It serves French food. It was delectable.

    But it was Japanese all the way after that. Please remove your shoes, tatami “boothers”. We opted to keep our boots on. It was a cold day.

My last meal in Japan was home-cooked. So were the first few days of dinner, except for in Tokyo and Hakone. God bless the hands that fed me. Thanks so much for your hospitality guys! 

Left on Cloud 9.   

in the ryokan in Hakone…

We did a one-way on the cruise (paid additional for first class which allowed us to get out on deck) and bused to Hoeiso, our Ryokan. Ryokans are not cheap in Japan but they come with room and board (kaiseki dinners and breakfasts). Some offer hot baths too. So it’s quite worth it. If you haven’t stayed in one before, you must. And after you do, there’s nothing like a ryokan stay when in Japan. We stayed in Hoeiso, a family-run inn which has seen three generations run it, since 1956. This is the view from the balcony. It’s really awesome. On the right is the path that brings you to the open-air hot spring bath. The sound of the rippling brook and the mountain view with the colours of autumn, the nippy air and the hot spring add up to your oh-so-chill moments.

Enjoy ryokan moments. 8)

 Up on the roof. Literally, our second floor neighbour’s roof.

View from the living room window. We see the autumn-hued mountains!

This is the living area where we dine tatami style. That’s the first course of breakfast being served. Pictures following are our first courses for dinner. The camera got tucked away somewhere after that as its owner is engrossed tucking in to another pleasurable activity.

 

Beyond the rice paper doors, (see at the top of the breakfast table picture) is the sleeping area, where we sleep tatami style. It’s really comfy and I had a fantastic night’s sleep! Came complete with sound effects, I’m afraid.

The visit was all too short, this is the turn towards the Hakone-Yumoto station again.

We took the Romance train back to Tokyo. It was about another 1.5 hours longer than if we’d taken a train directly back to Nagoya from Hakone. But what I call the “locomotion” package requires return journey to and from Tokyo and Hakone. It was quite a cost saver instead of paying for all the fares for the ride on the Tozan Ropeway, the cable car, the cruise and the bus rides in town. So here we are in Tokyo, “shinkansen-ing” back to Nagoya. What can I say, I love trains.

  This is our train approaching… and here it is..  

doing the locomotion … from Nagoya to Tokyo and Hakone

Here comes our Shinkansen to Tokyo.

  Waiting to board…. and to “fly” at the speed of a bullet.

It was a short stop in Tokyo. Shinjuku in fact. No time for photos from shopping in the day! It was weary feet trudging down this path so it was some token night lights to the real highlight… FOOD!  Here we are, finally settled on this little restaurant on the corner (with the brown signage). No regrets!

      

It was an early start the next day to Hakone. Not mushy or anything, but we were boarding the “Romance” train bound for Hakone-Yumoto station! We’d bought a “locomotion” package of sorts that would give us return rides to and from Tokyo to Hakone and rides on the Hakone Ropeway, Cable Car and some kitschy pirate boat. Don’t let that derail you. The cruise on Lake Ashi was heavenly.

        Tracking the Hakone Ropeway We boarded at Gora Station. We had to stop to let this car pass. I also have to add the next picture which I thought was poetic. I had been taking shots from the car I was in and suddenly saw a reflection – a train driver within a train driver… :p and I thought, “who’s really on the inside and who is on the outside?”….

 At the station going up to the Cable Car Station

From one cable car to another… It was breathtaking.

View from the top. We could see Mount Fuji in the distance.

Apparently, that’s rare as most times the peak is shrouded in clouds. Cool eh?

This is not as seen. It is taken through the cable car.  So it’s somewhat reflective. The real sight was grand!

Mt Fuji from the cruise boat too… 

Cruising onSee the sun in the sea… Well, lake technically. 8) Lake Ashi to be specific. It was so peaceful and the air so fresh! It feels like as if you’re just learning to breathe for the first time fully conscious of your environment … pure magic! Bottled fresh air could be the next big idea! Don’t roll them eyes. It could be the next big idea with all the pollution around the world

 It’s no wonder there were so many locals out there fishing! The air is incredibly crisp and fresh.

Thank you, my friend…

I’ve been thinking. Why does it take death to shout “live better”.  I mean we know we are born one day and one day we will die.  No exceptions.

So why does it take bad news, difficult situations for us to take stock? Even then, the effects are not permanent. We have such short memories. We get burned. We feel the pain. When the pain is gone, we forget.

Until it’s a death looming … in whatever form.

Maybe it’s the end of life as we know it and whatever beliefs we subscribe to, we are going into the big unknown. We don’t know what’s coming to us. Particularly since the lessons learnt while on this side of the divide, are short-lived. As such, we probably strive to make amends more conscientiously to garner some last minute brownie points.

Does it work that way?

I lost a dear friend recently. And seeing how he lived, full of courage and faithful till the end, inspired me. He seemed to have come to an equilibrium with his Creator God. He told us that his illness was a wake up call to things more eternal. Nothing matters when we leave this earth. Not the stars and the stripes we earned. Not fame and fortune. Nor the blinks and branded bags. Nor beauty which fades. Or a physical body that wastes away. (I wonder what happens to botoxed faces and lifted body parts? )

Naked we come into the world and naked we leave. We can’t take anything with us.

So why do we place so much premium on things? Have such a penchant for man’s approval and praise? Pursue success and wealth above all else?

My friend challenged me to live well when he told me he was terminally ill and sharing his regret in life. He said not to wait for something earth-shattering to happen to learn to live better. Since then, I have been reminding myself whenever I feel that I have been dealt a bad hand, to remember what matters.

My friend would happily have accepted any of the “bad hands” I’ve been dealt with, for a second chance at life. To live well without the encumberance of a life sentence over his head. To prioritise life the way it should be for him – a restored relationship with his God. To show his family he loved them not only by working hard to provide for them but to be present for them in the big things and the little things too. To use his ability to extend help to his larger community. And even the seemingly mundane, like to eat in moderation and to exercise and keep healthy.

He finished well. My friend. But he told us to live well. Not that he didn’t. He lived life with a fervour and passion, not many can attest to. Whatever, he pursued, he excelled in. Whether it was his studies, his career, family, football, helping needy, wayward kids… well, pretty much anything he touched. He was driven and disciplined but he reminded us it is vain glory, things done in the flesh.  But immortal, when done with a perspective of eternity.

He inspired me. My friend. He stormed through the finish line. Maybe not in his beleaguered, mortal body. But in spirit.

I want this lesson to stick. I hope in the spirit that this will not be a flash in the pan. I want to finish well from a race well-run. It is, after all, the journey, that takes us to the final destination.

Thank you, my friend. Rest now.

Published on 270711 on what would have been his 47th birthday.

autumn travels…Takayama

My Autumn trip actually saw me heading directly to Takayama from the Chubu Centrair International Airport Nagoya.  I “Ta-Q-Bin[ed]” (door-to-door delivery) my luggage to my friend’s place and with a carry-on I took the Meitetsu Line from the airport to JR Nagoya Station.

There, I boarded the Wide View Hida Train bound for Takayama. I only stopped there as the place to catch the bus to Shirakawa-go but I really enjoyed the Old Town.  It was a bonus to my stopover.

I mentioned the Wide View Hida Train because it literally has wide view windows!  Commuters have a fantastic view of the scenery and it was a kaleidoscope of colours.  A true feast for the eye, all the way to Takayama. 8) These next few pictures were taken from the train.

  descending on Takayama soon…

It was 14 degrees celcius and sunny!  Seize the day!  So immediately after checking in, I set out to explore the Old Town.  It was a good decision.  Mist descended the next day. And I was told by some folks who arrived on the same train as I did that the mist remained the whole day, exacerbated by rain in the afternoon. When travelling, there’s something to be said about the “don’t put off till tomorrow what you can do today” adage.  My fellow commuters put off their Old Town jaunt and they got the mist and the rain. I heard they were going to Shirakawa-go the day after I did and from all accounts, I heard it was going to be misty then too. Someone up there sure was looking out for me!

 the road to Old Town

  parked at a back lane, this stopped me in my tracks. how retro is this? …. cool eh? 8)  beats the odd “for-tourist” rickshaw.

same back lane and this time, kids stop me in my tracks … again. only two pictures this time, promise.  they were trying to play football. can you tell who’s the leader? but not to be deterred, the other chap says “bring it on, man!”

        it’s 1, 3, 4, .. right?

      it’s Hida beef, guys! melts in your mouth… better than Wagyu.  one stick was 450yen!  really expensive snack!  but guess who kept going back for more. almost spoiled my kaiseki dinner.. almost… couldn’t resist more hida beef and all the little “appetisers” which i can’t name but definitely can eat!  my excuse… it was getting cold.  brrrr…. i love the cold but i forgot my jacket!  silly me.  but i stayed out to walk.  COURAGE, girl!

  

  

   doorway to the Folk Museum   

 the stuff for a cold evening   

 selling knick knacks

         

where’d the time go?  dusk brought with it hunger pangs!

    

lovely little lady.  i was expecting to use hand gestures etc…for the transaction, but she spoke to me in English!  totally unexpected.  100yen per stick.  it’s some sesame paste thingy.  and by the way, check out the bottom right corner of her blouse.  it’s a “bunny”! den my thought bubble went, “Ms November” immediately eclipsed by a more reverent bow and an arigato gozaimasu when she gave me my change back.  i have nothing but respect for such fierce independence.  it dignifies a person more than anything else.

 seems to me to be the “high street”.  more cosmopolitan f & b and stuff, i find.  anyway, street and shop lights were coming on … the camera battery was running low… time to make my way back

     not before i took these last three shots.  couldn’t resist these pictures.  sucker for structure and texture.  battery totally died on me after this.  all juiced out!, from Takayama.