I was reminded recently by a friend, that there are people who have very different views of themselves and their actions, than others have of them. Normally, a better view. 😮
As ego maniacal as it seems, it is true. There are many with unhealthy doses of their own self-image because they do not self reflect. It’s about being self-aware. For the unitiated, this does not mean a painful “I-me-myself” perspective, which we see so much of these days; but it would actually keep away this kind of selfish mindset.
There are people who do not self reflect as much as they reflect on others and their faults. These “other” reflectors pick at everything with a fine tooth comb where it concerns others, whether superficial or in their own estimate, deep but stop short at repeating the same on themselves. If we don’t reflect on ourselves and our actions, I wonder whether we can have a healthy estimate of ourselves, let alone, others.
Being self aware requires knowing the good, the bad and the ugly, in us. Gasp… Did I just hear an inaudible ‘gasp’? When was the last time you looked in the mirror?
Do we really know who we are, what makes us tick, what our trigger buttons are and how to manage all of it in the different context of life. Granted, we tend to be more bad and uglier, with those who have no choice but to accept us – like the families we are born into 😉 but even that is part of self-awareness. Ultimately, the self-reflections are to lead to more accurate well, reflections, of ourselves. Whether we want to change (normally one assumes “wanting to” equates to change for the better) is another issue. It’s “shiok” for others, especially if your triggers affect them adversely, to know you know your bad points; rather than cope with the shock of disbelief that you think you are good (full stop). Give them some satisfaction. Call it. Call a spade a spade.
If you can’t call it. Then ask others. Start at the very place where you can observe the most ugly of behaviours and are always forgiven. Presuming of course, yours is a functional family – loving, giving, forgiving and honest. Unlike those who say you can sing and dance when you actually bray and waddle. No offence – we each have our core skills.
Or if your families are as maniacal as you, then what about good friends or good, old friends you grew up with and couldn’t give a damn about massaging your ego. Unlike those suckers up that you might be tempted to hang around with now because they say whatever you want to hear; Assuming that you have moved up the ladder of prosperity. If not, those suckers up sure won’t be hanging around you.
The net of it is this, you might look into the mirror and think you see manicured lakes (aided by your own lack of self awareness or non reflective suck up reflectors) but in effect you might be an unmanicured river. No offence to the river. It’s just about getting a complete picture. An accurate reflection. Pretty or not; to change or not, it’s up to you.
Although, I think, if you can get to that point of self-reflection, you are as good as the next step.