run… boat girl…run!

Have you ever had a conversation forced upon you?  Even if you didn’t want to eavesdrop, the decibels ensure the conversation flow is unceasing?!  Worse if the conversation starts with a pompous-sounding “Now”…. and ends with a condescending “you understand what I mean” or “I tell you”.

I think it must have been punishment for a very chill, relaxing, spa weekend.  With everything smooth-sailing from the start, the end had to be the bummer.  So yes, the entire 45-minute ferry ride was peppered with someone clearing the throat from phlegm and not throwing it out… I guess the reverse of that is swallowing it back?! Eeeeeewwww…. a teen and pre-teen drumming a tabla (but that lasted only till my friend told them to sock it! hahaha….) and the nightmare conversation! 

The conversation, pardon me, the soliloquy was carried out by a youngish 20-something boy (ok, ok technically, a man) trying desperately to prove his worth to a young, impressionable girl (whose origins shall remain a mystery, except to those familiar with a term of reference “boat people”, no disrespect meant).

His selling points were many… but since it was a soliloquy, at best a Q & A, we don’t know if it was bought.  I hope not.

  • He was there when she broke up

The conversation thread to that went something like this, “Now…who was there for you when you broke up?.. Who? Tell me?  Tell me who.”  And when there was no response, his emphatic rejoinder came quick and furious, “Me riiiiight?!  I tell you ah… I tell you, I didn’t know where you were ok, what to do… so I took a taxi and told the taxi man to go straight to XXX and waited for you…”

  • They are the right age for each other

“Now tell me why X and his relationship didn’t work.  You know?  You don’t know, right…ok let me tell you.  How old is X?  How old is the girlfriend?”  And when the answers came, “How many years apart are they?  Ten.  How old am I?  How old are you?”  Again the corresponding ages came, “How many years apart are we?  Three!  That’s right.  Now you know why.  Because they are different generation what.  Not same level.  We both are the same.  So can lah.”  Right…very convincing.

  • He has good fashion sense?  Don’t ask me what that has to do with anything… oh! wait a minute, he is fashion guru….from Seng & Beng Fasen

“Eh see that guy on the TV…. did you see, did you see?  Aiyah… you missed it.”  More inane one-sided droning, “There, there, quick see!  He’s wearing the same t-shirt as me.  Ahhh…. see I know about fashion oso, right?  There are stripes like this (one presumes he is showing horizontal and vertical motions) and like that.  [Enlightening!]  Then there are stripes on one side… I like the stripes on one side.  Very nice, right?”  As usual, her response or attempt at trying for some airtime, is not successful and immaterial to the person who is trying to win her heart!! 😮

I can go on with the soliloquy but even I’m getting bored.  His goodness is forever.  :p He will bring her on holidays once a month after this very “successful” one.   For now she will stay with him and his mother for one month.  Not to worry about immigration, just tell the person “that you are with me…don’t worry” he says with an air of bravado.  Then at immigration, (after the trek from the ferry, where he insisted on walking immediately behind her, to shield her from prying eyes as her dress was billowing in the wind), he was at the fast track lane for citizens, waving to her at the foreigner queue! 😮  I guess that was the only reassurance she was getting.  Also, she was not to worry about his mother, “both of you are very alike onnnnee.  Simple only, when she cooking right, you just tell her, “Aunty, your food very nice”… can oredi.” 😮 😮  In the same breath, “have you told your mother to call off the matchmaker?”

“Run… boat girl, run!”  And that’s what my live-and-let-live friend – normally non eavesdropper and non judgemental – said.


6 thoughts on “run… boat girl…run!”

  1. Hmmm…I am reminded of the stories I have been told about ladies of a certain nationality who hang around kopi-tiams in Geylang helping men celebrate their 55th birthday. I think bujangmycat has a point there. Which makes me wonder who is the victim here. The boat may sail and it may not be the innocent looking girl on it….it will be that idiot of a fashion police and the sad thing is he does not know where the boat is headed.
    I think it was Sun Tze who said, “Keep your friends close and your enemy closer”…something like that.
    Powderpuff Power !
    For that poor idiot, I am reminded of a Robin Williams quote….but that’s R-Rated and may offend, so I attempt to use a G-Rated version to convey the same message.
    “Men don’t multi-task very well.”

    1. boy…the coin’s now totally flipped…. do we feel sorry for soliloquy guy?….

      hmmm…solly ok, i can’t after his punishing self-important, three-in-one (i, me, myself) monologue. :p

  2. It has to do more with power and confidence I think. He must be really desperate to convince her of his worth and power and what he could do to ‘save’ her from the world. I think she is more powerful than he is and has the power to save or kill him although she may not know it…yet..maybe. She should just leave him as so many women try to save so many men and in the end all of them (the women and men) end up nowhere. Reminds me of Romeo and Juliet and like Romeo, the cowardly suitor, he will in the end save only himself. Run, boat girl, run…as fast as the wind can carry you…

    1. woah… the other side of the coin – she has the power to save or kill…. the normal “yes” or “no” response now seems so benign. :p

      do you think it’s a “saviour” complex then when you say “many women try to save so many men”? or is it that men want to be saved?

      the cosmic purposes notwithstanding, for this individual perspective, i’m rooting that she saves herself. 🙂

      blow wind blow… blow what…. blow boat girl homeward… 😉

  3. …..I learned a new word today……Soliloquy (Ah Beng pronunciation : Solly ok) Hahahaha…..sounds like that Ah Beng was not sorry at all 😛 ….Poor girl…and those around who had this soliloquy imposed upon them amid a phlegm swallowing entertainment event….errr…if you paid close attention to what the tabla playing kids were doing after they were deprived of their tabla, I bet there was a bogger-eating competition….or even a bogger shooting event to see whose bogger can travel further….hahahaha…hope you washed your hair real good after that.
    What a boat ride….where did the boat come from? ….. Looney Island? …..sorry could not resist that.
    Anyway, glad you were well spa’d and hope the return to reality did not leave any emotional scars. I guess that’s why some people enjoy “People Watrching”.

    1. see bujangmycat’s post… no more “poor girl”. she got da power man! 😀

      also, the tabla-playing kids were seated in front of us. it would have been ideal if they were engaged in any booger (eeeewwww, i said it :p) shooting event, as it might have landed on the throat-clearing phlegm laden woman – that would have been the perfect medicine (ptui!). but thankfully for the woman and us, they were rocked to sleep once we departed.

      it’s a toss up though between percussion and droning baritone of a desperate man. 🙂

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