I read, way back when (and this is a bad paraphrase), that those things we dislike in others, are the same things we dislike about ourselves and the converse is true too ie, the things in other people that we like, are the very same things we like about ourselves.
If that is the case, (speaking about the former statement, I mean) then I’m in trouble. Lately, I’ve developed a more sinister loathing for birds! They fly about, eat, then with nothing better to do, dump crap on my car!!! Especially after I have just washed my car. Ok, I have to rephrase that. Especially, after I just sent my car to the petrol station for a hand wash. My phobia of birds started when I was an oxymoronic cute, pudgy, five-year old. But now it’s just a crappy relationship! Not to mention that the shitty acidity kills the paintwork of my car. %*##*!!^^#@ birds!
On a more serious note, I have been commenting on people whose actions have truly upset me lately. To be fair to me (which better side is there for me to take 😀 ), I generally have a gut response to people I meet, interact, work with. But as a rule, I hold judgement till a grievous wrong has been done (not necessarily only to me but to others); Especially if the “wronged” ones are not aware of the efforts to stick a knife in their backs, are defenceless, just want to keep peace and therefore do not retaliate or want to help someone else.
I’ve been known to privately allude to people who shall remain unnamed, as lily-livered cowards (blame Shakespeare – it was his adjective) who avoids facing up to real issues. Spineless jellyfish (due to inconsistent principles depending which way the “wind” blows and the lack of integrity). Two-faced as they act (pretend? to be) as a friend but are constantly seeking out and sleeping with the enemy and enemy’s people to protect themselves. Those who speak bad English “phenomenonly” well and are experts at everyone else’s job because as the 007, are everyone’s best critique. Female dogs “who have been around” and wave the invisible hand but will never be accountable. Female dogs’ companions. I think that’s a comprehensive enough, list. :p
So what do I make of the psychological diatribe? That somewhere along the line in my life’s journey, I was a female dog ? :0 I lack integrity? I am not accountable ? ….. Gee… and heaven forbid, that I speak “phenomenonly” bad English?!!! And therefore, dislike the very same that I see in others? Hmmmm…..
My grandma used to spew proverbs on a daily basis. My aunt, mum and the rest of us, fortunate enough to know her well, still remember and use them. One of them was “Always look at yourself in the mirror first”.
I understand that. It helps us be less judgemental and more gracious as we become more aware of our own shortcomings. And yes, I have them. Like I am quick tempered, therefore the special relationship with the %*##*!!^^#@ birds! 😀 (Does the proverb apply to birds? :D)
But does it always mean that what we dislike about what we see in others reflects who we are/were? Those negative descriptions mentioned earlier are diametrically opposed to principles and values that are good. Like taking accountability. Having integrity. Speaking good English :p (not just hua yu cool) ….
I dearly hold these values close to my heart…. So what should I make of this?