i love oxymorons…

I love oxymorons. I do….

I’ve always loved them as I find them funny. But it took a cooler slant for me after an incident with my niece and nephew when they were both I think, three and five plus respectively. (Apparently, the other niece, the cousin, then five, shared the same sentiment too but she was not with them during this episode).

Don’t you just love it when you hear the spontaneous gurgle of laughter from children?  I love it and miss it…. but I digress.. 🙂

I was in the bedroom one day when I heard the brother and sister duo gurgling with mirth, from the living room.  So I hastened out to ask them what was tickling their funny bone, expecting a roundabout, childlike explanation of the events leading up to the bout of laughter.

Instead, my nephew simply explained, with all of the mastery of a five plus-year old,”Oxymo[w]on”…. and went on to explode into further fits of laughter.

I had to do a doubletake because I thought I had mistakenly heard… well… Oxymoron…and this time the three-year old repeated emphatically, “O XY MO [W]ON”… and the “you moron” might have been the silent subtext, if you had just seen her rolling her eyes as she said it. 😀  Like… get with the programme, already… hahaha…

So cuuuutttteeeee…. and wow!  So clever!  I think I only really started using the word when I was in pre-university doing Practical Criticism!

They had been watching “Sheep in the city” – a cartoon … and I guess they were expected to appreciate the humour from a child’s perspective (you know.. like how a Roald Dahl book like Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, can be appreciated at very different levels, as a fairy tale by a child and a satire, as an adult…) yet here they were, laughing at oxymorons.  

The objects of their mirth?  Characters in the cartoon called General Specific and Private Public…  (It’s even cuter when mouthed by a

General Specific
Private Public

toddler and a pre-schooler, when they zeroed in on the two names when I asked them if they knew the meaning of the word “oxymoron”.) They were tickled pink by the contradiction in terms.

Amazing eh?… Can’t blame them when you know the mother had probably sat watching the cartoon with them some time earlier and probably laughed out loud and called attention to the oxymorons as the story  unfolded. 

So you see why oxymorons have a special place in my heart?  Besides that they are funny, I have, engraved in my mind’s eye, the endearing picture of two imps with heads thrown back, shoulders shaking and eyes squinting, in uncontrolled mirth.

This awwwwwww..some 🙂 episode was rekindled when my friend casually mentioned my use of an oxymoron yesterday.  I have not been exercising for ahem… quite awhile (well.. it has been intermittently pouring or is freaking hot… everytime the thought of exercising crossed my mind), so brisk walking has all but come to a halt.

Yes, yes… when you are trying to save your knees for use for the rest of your earthly life… you stop jogging and start brisk walking (with the aunties :p …. sigh…).  Or at least take up something, kinder to your cartilage.  Since I have not even been doing that! :p sigh…. I had warned my friend to go easy.  Her rejoinder came.. ok we stroll… And not wanting to lose face or worse… lose to the aunties, 😮 I sent back a retort, “Brisk stroll”. (right! 😉 )

Then last weekend, in editing a letter, I had told the writer that it had to be less specific but clearer! 😮 … hahaha… trust me, the re-edit based on the [oxy]moronic principle, worked!  Really… You have to read it to believe it. 🙂

But back to my point and the intent behind this blog …  that you share some oxymorons you’ve come across that’s tickled you pink or your own [oxy]moronic moments from interactions in school, at home, at work, at play, with strangers, reading, watching TV 🙂 etc…

Would love more awwwwwsome moments. 🙂  So send some this way will ya? 



12 thoughts on “i love oxymorons…”

  1. hahahahaha – bujang you are so funny!

    oh yea – the oxymoron – when my daughter was five( I think, cos like its not in the recent past – oops! er again??) whenevr she finished her glass of milk she would say – “see ma – the glass is fully empty!”

    1. woah… monicker, two in a row! that’s a record.

      would this be “moonbeam” (see i even have code for your daughter… there are no limits to my paranoia :p) you speaking of? so cuuuuute!!….. she gives new meaning to the phrase “the glass is half full” or “half empty”. 🙂 wake up people… the glass is just fully empty…. live with it. hahaha…

      do you know i found a picture of her as a toddler? you must have mailed it to me during the days of snail mail. 🙂

  2. Ooops…. I stand corrected. I’ve just been informed that “while I am smart, I am not so smart”… that’s the niece that was rolling her eyes.

    She was six and therefore Kor Kor would have been eight plus. That’s still clever and awwwww…some in my book. 😀

  3. Hahahaha….sorry for being unclear. Must be as clear as mud to you 😛 ..hey, that’s another oxymoron.
    “Slowly hurry up” was his way of annoying the hell out of us….
    You may have heard that the army (in those days) was about harassment and “buggeration”. We were always hurried around……I am sure our instructors’ motto was “hurry up and wait”….I digress again
    When we were not fast enough, he would lecture us about which part of the instruction was unclear…..after all he said, “slowly HURRY UP.”….
    …and when we were faster than he anticipated, he would ask us why we were in such a hurry, after all, he said, “SLOWLY hurry up.”
    …Yes, there is no winning….it was a simpler time when we trainees accepted that the trainers were “playing” with us….these days, there are welfare officers and parent who would complain to MINDEF….sigh………are our people getting soft?…..that’s a blog for another day 🙂

    1. Wow!…. deep :p… ok that’s me still pretending that I get it. In truth, it is as clear as mud (oh you are such a natural with oxymorons, did you not spot another you used “hurry up and wait” ;)). Back to the muddy situation. Didn’t mean your explanation… but the intent of your Ah Beng enchek. I need a thesis on this. Or maybe, I’m just translating Singlish into English to understand this. Would it make sense in Hokkien?

      Never mind. I give up. I’ll just take it that he means to annoy.

      Yes, I’ve heard stories of the good ol’ days when soldiers were real soldiers. My cousin told me that they were shot at (with live rounds), when their butts went higher than accepted when doing the leopard crawl. hahaha… sorry I don’t mean to make them the butt of jokes… hahaha … lame… 😀 But the trainers’ intent was to tell them it won’t be funny, if they got shot at in real life, by enemy fire, if they were spotted bumping up … hahaha… stealth manouevres….

    1. Fingeritis … That’s incurable… It hits one in every hundred….if you believe in generalisations… including this. Hahaha…

      “Slowly hurry up” still escapes me though … Unless it’s him being sarcastic?

      Please excuse me… I’m slow in Singlish… 🙂

  4. 1/ …..slowly hurry up comes …..created by my ah beng enchek in the army. He also used to say “do you make myself clear?’……..huh?
    2/ …..we need to plan the fun………. (anonymous to protect the innocent)…hahaha
    3/ politically correct …………duh?
    4/ …..agree to disagree……. (“useful oxymoron” for spmeone who is “politically correct”)
    5/ saw a sign which read “Dog found missing…..”……huh?
    6/ salty ice cream ……had this dessert at a fancy smancy restaurant
    7/ non-alcoholic beer …….errr…what’s the point?
    8/ partial success………hmmm…is it like being half pregnant?
    9/ Like a Virgin (the song)……you either are or are not
    10/ fuzzy logic……..if it is fuzzy, how is it logical?….oh….you mean a logical teddy bear.
    11/ boneless duck…..
    12/ willful negligence………if a moron is negligent, would it be deemed to be willful?
    13/ indecent exposure ….. errr….what’s decent exposure?

    There you go….a baker’s dozen 😛

    1. 2Cents, so many [oxy]morons in your life. 😉

      I am curious – for the life of me, I can’t think of what “slowly hurry up comes..” could mean. Means what?! 😀

      And by protecting the innocent you mean protecting you? You are right…Folks who manufacture fun might not take kindly to being laughed at. I hear this “folk” does not quite like dogs, we definitely don’t want your dog to be found missing.. hahaha…that’s a good one.. the oxymoron part, I mean. Or worse yet, the “folk” might punish you by making you drink non-alcoholic beer… We never quite know how folk with fuzzy logic will react. So yes, keep safe. 🙂

  5. Now I find it funny too!… hahahahahahahahaha…… 😀 😀

    I laughed so hard and am still laughing… hahahahaha….Only BJC would be able to “do someone in” figuratively. 😀 “Death” by oxymoron… hahahahahaha….

    The funniest thing I’ve heard in ages!!!! Thanks for sharing this BJC. I’m not sure if the world will be a better place, at least not for the kid (who probably didn’t know what hit him).. but it sure brightened my neck of the woods!

    You have outdone yourself and Shakespeare… well, in my book anyway. 😉

  6. “Yours will be a lively death!!” Of course the only one who finds this funny is me and not the kid whose life I threatened.
    My all time favourite oxymoron is of course the classic from Romeo and Juilet – My only love is my only hate. It’s quite apt for a 5-day desperate death by suicide.

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