if it’s not yours…

Have you ever hankered after something that you can’t have?

When I was young with chronic bronchitis, I used to hanker after ice cream so much. Of course, my mother would have none of it. Her word was law. Did I say “was”? ๐Ÿ˜› Oops… “is”, I mean. ๐Ÿ™„ ย Don’t get me wrong. I was no pale lily. Bronchitis or not, I would be out there playing with the neighbourhood boys. Climbing in and out of drains. Playing catching. Eating sand. Matching them silly action after action! Hmmm… who’s the dumb one, now? ๐Ÿ˜€

No “masak-masak” (Malay term for “playing house”) until the bouts were upon me. Cough till the face turned green. Lungs popping out of the mouth. Well, if it could get pass the oesophagus. ๐Ÿ˜† Phlegm no better colour. ๐Ÿ˜› Fever from infection. Tripย to the family doctor ad nauseam. Literally for me! Well, for mum too.

So I don’t blame her with the endless cycle of robust activity interspersed with vomitting yellow phelgm. Ok… too much info. ๐Ÿ˜€ So yearn as much as I could and would … no ice cream materialised (so much for the “laws of attraction” ๐Ÿ™‚ ) The rule was bent only once a year. Chinese New Year was the celebration of celebrations. Even then, no Ben and Jerry’s or Haagen Dazs. Just the Ah Pek (“old uncle” in Hokkien) on his three-wheeled motorised cart, clanging the ice cream bell. Such music to my ears. It heralded the oh so cold, cold Magnolia ripple – yup no favourite chocolate flavour – too heaty. No matter, it’s ice cream sandwiched between two pieces of crispy biscuit!. Mmmmmmm…. heaven.

Those were the growing up years.

I was just thinking recently. What do we do now when we want something we shouldn’t have. It’s not ice cream for me these days (could be for you! ๐Ÿ˜‰ ). I turned down an ice cream treat as I was coughing. Abstinence from ice cream is a piece of cake these days.

But what about something bad for the health, your career, your finances, your well-being, your life? Do we have the discipline to refrain?

In this age of getting what you see. Getting what you want. Getting immediate gratification. What do we do?

No more mum to hold the “gun to your head”. Figuratively speaking, of course. (No case of child abuse here…moving on).

I know some people who make a “life” in their minds (literally!) of whatever it is they hanker after. And sometimes, they live more in that made-up world than the reality. Is it a measure of weakness? Is it the inability to face reality? Is it the only safe route?

Or people who will stop at nothing till they get what they want. God forbid if you get in their way. ๐Ÿ˜ฎ

My grandma used to say, “what’s not yours, is not yours”. No amount of wishing, or dreaming, or fantasising will bring it to you. (As an aside… sometimes brute will and force does get you there).ย Whatever it is, I guess the question is, will it be worth it?

Don’t know about you but I think I’ll stick to grandma’s wise old adage. Don’t hanker after things you can’t or don’t have. Just enjoy and treasure what you already have. ๐Ÿ™‚ And sometimes… ice cream does come your way, once a year! ๐Ÿ˜Ž

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4 thoughts on “if it’s not yours…”

  1. Indeed, I would not hurt a fly…..because they are too fast for me ๐Ÿ˜› Hahahaha
    If only you could read my thought bubbles. Over the years, I have learned to contain my inner thoughts. Taking a leaf from an old marketing ardage – Under promise and over deliver ๐Ÿ™‚ I am more a listener than a talker. Those who talk too much conceal nothing. Those who are quiet but toil in the background achieve much ๐Ÿ™‚ …. There I go reflecting again in my old age.

    1. Hmmm… Not sure about that. I mean not that the fly is faster than you, ๐Ÿ˜› that’s for sure. ๐Ÿ™‚ But about chipping away at the recesses of your thought bubbles.

      Sounds ominous for people who talk too much.

      Now I’m reflecting… Which category do I fall into? Do I talk too much, do not toil away and achieve nothing? Do I conceal nothing? I am a listener. ? Doesn’t seem appropriate as a question or statement. ๐Ÿ˜› Are there such absolutes?

      Reflecting… Reflecting… I’ll be a mirror soon. ๐Ÿ™„ I’ll be able to scrape the oil off the surface of my forehead and save some money on petrol soon. ๐Ÿ˜€

  2. I yearned for a few things as a kid…..a 25 cent “goondhu marble”, “kiauku fighting spider” which would beat all the spiders my friends owned, a matchbox car that was the fastest, ability to kick a chaptek more times than my friends, a bottle-cap spinner which beat everyone else. OK, I was quite a competitive kid at heart. I was not very successful at these with my cousin and his friends. They smashed my marbles (literally), my kiauku spider turned out to be a “hangkau” one which walked away from a fight, my matchbox cars were not as fast as I wished they would be…..you get the drift. Maybe it was because they were 2 years my senior. Despite this, I never gave up and on the odd occasion when I managed to beat my cousin, it was a top of the world feeling….maybe he “pang chance”. Hahaha

    Definition of terms used for the benefit of non locals or the younger generation ๐Ÿ˜›
    1/ Goondhu Marble – A special marble made of stone which was a lucky charm at the same time. The literal definition of Goondhu is stupid. I have no idea why they used goondhu.
    2/ Kiauku Fighting Spider – A spider used for fighting which would bend its rear end when it met a match. Kiauku means crooked.
    3/ Chaptek – Feathered shuttle which you would kick with the inside of your foot.
    4/ Hangkau – Used to describe a cowardly spider which runs away from a fight.
    5/ Pang Chance – To let someone off lightly, e.g. to allow someone to win a game so they do not feel bad.

    1. Wouldn’t have known! ๐Ÿ˜ฎ You look like you wouldn’t hurt a fly, which only lives for 21 days. (Hmmm … Where did that info come from. If I even remember it correctly. :P) But I digress. ๐Ÿ™‚

      What a competitive child! This said from the undisputed chapteh queen! Haha… Eh wait a minute, I played with a feathered contraption! Maybe the fear of any part of me touching the feathers just motivated me to keep going and going and going…

      So where have you been hiding this competitive streak all these years? Now that you’re older and wiser, cannot die, die want, right? ๐Ÿ˜€

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